The dialogue of the two systems


The walrus and the physicist,

They spoke of many things,

Of quarks, and branes, and anti-quarks,

And nonsense stuff like strings,

And of magnetic monopoles,

And whether Higgs have wings.


The physicist was quite convinced,

That time could travel fast,

The future was already there,

But he could change the past.


The walrus was not really sure,

That time was really there,

But the physicist, he proved the maths,

To width of a human hair.


The physicist, he also knew,

That time curved like a ball.

The proof, he said, lay in fact,

That Einstein knew it all.


The walrus said, that made no sense,

And asked him to explain;

But he replied, the fault must lie,

Inside the walrus’s brain.


The physicist went on to say,

The universe sprung from nowt.

One moment there was nothing there,

Then everything jumped out.


The walrus shook his head, and said,

He found that rather odd.

He felt it was no better,

Than pinning it all on God.


The physicist, he gnashed his teeth,

And really got annoyed.

He said that in the quantum world,

Things did spring from the void.


He said the universe was growing big,

So must have started small.

And if we went back far enough,

It was not there at all.


The walrus he did shake his head,

And said that was not so,

He said, that might be something,

Mankind could never know.


The physicist, he waved his hands,

And said the maths was done,

Down to the final second,

Since the universe begun.


The walrus, he was well impressed,

With the certainty displayed,

So he ventured on to ask:

“From what are we all made?”


The physicist, he wiped his brow,

And said “we know that too,”

We’re made of little things called quarks,

With gluons instead of glue.


The walrus slowly raised his head,

And gave a walrus bark.

He said “does that mean we are made,

From a single type of quark?


The physicist, he shook his head,

And said that would not do.

He said that such simplicity,

Couldn’t possibly be true,

And that all the particles,

Amount to twenty-two.


The walrus, he was quite convinced,

That physics was a mess,

But as he didn’t want to cause,

Inordinate distress,

He drew the matter to a close,

By uttering “God bless.”


The physicist flew in a rage,

And went red in the face,

He said such speculation,

Was an absolute disgrace,

As in twelve dimensions,

God could have no place.


Galileo incurred the wrath of his fellow professors, because although the mainstream physicist was declared the winner of his Dialogue, he was rather tactlessly named Simplicio (the simpleton).  So to try to avoid the fate of Galileo, I thought it best to put the counter argument into the mouth of a simple beast, and give the physicist as much rope as he needed.

© William Newtspeare, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to William Newtspeare, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.